Well, where do I begin. I would like to go back to Monday. Oh bugeezers!
The day begins pretty mild and THEN an influx of late kids and kids without uniforms. There is a student who is notorious for being loud and thinks all of us are her friends and addresses us as "gurl"! I ask her not to come into the office causing her shenanigans. She got upset because I called her on it and walked out. Other kids came in and just enjoy being loud, including our service worker and one of the students who almost got into a fight on Friday. I address them and tell them to lower their voice or be quiet. Well apparently they felt they were being targeted. The "I nearly fight student" made it a point to get upset and start acting out and cursing. In an effort to prevent him from getting into anymore trouble I pull him into my office. I ask him what was his issue and he sits down while using one balled up fist and punching it onto his other hand. I ask him why he was balling up his fist and he just says "Ouuu! I can't wait til my grandma comes up here!" I asked him "what is that supposed to mean?" and he stated to take that comment anyway I wanted. He proceeded to make a comment about me picking on him because of his race and that I was not doing that with any other student. So I closed my door and asked him to tell me exactly what he was trying to tell me. Not to beat around the bush. I told him that if he felt I was racist against him then he is sadly mistaken. I was so mad that I cried of anger! Just thinking about it angers me. I told him that I was rooting for him and to avoid anymore behavior issues I pulled him in. I proceeded to tell him that race has nothing to do with it. He tried to apologize and hug me, but I told him not to touch me and to sit down. He stayed there for 30 mins. In silence.
Today a student who drops off his bike in the Main Office came in at 9 am. I told him before that if he gets to school late he will not be able to keep his bike in the Main Office. It is a privilege not a right. He got mad and began to curse. He walked out and tried to leave campus, but the security guard stopped him. He continues to call me "pendeja" and cursing in English. So I tried to contact mom, sister and finally mom answered. I told her the entire situation. Apparently, her child told her that he begins school at 9am and I told her that is not the case. I also asked her that to come in an observe her child in school. It seems as those my request was equivalent to asking her to jump off a bridge because she said "you want me to miss work?". I was dumbfounded! I remember that my mom also needed to work in order to provide, but when it came to her child she would handle business. My assumption is that her child is not as important. The student knows that mom won't make it to the school and acts out. The previous day he came in and told us that he is going to get himself kicked out and go to the main office. Mom decided to insult me and tell me that as a counselor I should know what I am doing. That when she came in the first time I was nice and so on. I told her I wasn't sure if she understood what I was saying and told her her son has a kind heart and can be nice, but when you push the button for him to get mad he just flips. In order to try and help him we need her support to. I reiterated that it would be great for her to come in, but if that does not fit in her schedule, then as a school we will do our part unfortunately without her support. Ultimately, mom said she would call back and surprise him with a visit. Not sure if that will happen, but I tried.
On top of that, we had to complete certificates for an award ceremony. Then off to meetings that were not pleasant. Ugh!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Friday.. it's supposed to be the day you love, right?
Well guess what Friday?! You REALLY sucked today!
My day started off by one of my compadres calling me over the radio to tell me that one of my kids was balling hysterically outside of the building. She didn't want to talk to anyone and didn't even want to follow me into my office, but I somehow convinced her and there we were. I got her to wash her face so that she could feel better and let her just sit there until she felt comfortable enough to talk to me. I waited and waited and nothing - she just sat there and cried. Something is definitely wrong at home and as much as my gut is telling me that, I can't do anything until I have proof. DAMN! I sent her back to class about an hour and a half later when she was calm and back to "normal" .. whatever that is!
Kid #2: The one I call "my child". The one that has seen me shed a tear. The one that I have hope in. Well today he came in drinking something I have NEVER seen before: Fruit Punch with gummy/sour worms at the bottom of the bottle. WTF?? Well guess what? 3 hours later he was in the office because his stomach hurt and he had thrown up. Yeah, you shouldn't have that drink AS YOUR BREAKFAST!
The parent that wanted to make sure that "The woman who called me NEVER calls me again!" : So we almost had a fight break out and my principal asked me to call this kids mom. I had to explain to her that he was being suspended for the rest of the day because of the fight and that we needed to send him home. I called and she didn't even say hello.. she answered the phone: "OH MA GA.. What now?!" I proceeded by telling her the situation and she cut me off by telling me that I better not send her child home because she chose this school for a reason..she wasn't the type of mama to let her child walk the streets, etc etc. and hung up on me. So, I graciously called back and said "ma'am it looks like we got disconnected. I wanted to call and ask when you would be able to pick him up since he cant walk home.." and she cut me off again "I Aint on county..." and hung up again. Ok.. perfect! My principal calls her back to try and calm her down, but of course, this was all my fault! Right! She told her that I had an attitude problem and that she never wanted to me to call her again! "I know you have other people working in your office..i NEVER want her to call me" <--this really hurts me.
The crisis: So while Im dealing with the mama that wants to hurt me, one of my favorite people (The guy who was scared of the hampster) comes and tells me that a boy ran out of the class, to the bathroom and said he wanted to cut himself. Great! Just what I needed! I talk to the boy and come to find out..this isn't the first time. I assessed the situation, collaborated and turns out a little intervention would be ok.. THANK GOD we didn't have to call in help! So, all I have to do is call his parent ..shouldn't be hard, right? WRONG! Not at our school! EVERY SINGLE ONE of the phone numbers in his file..disconnected! Ok, great! I am now the CIA and need to find this boys family! While Im doing that.. my favorite guy.. comes in and tells me that the boy ran out and said that because he touched the "front bottom" of a girl in his class. What?! Where do I work?! It was so hard for my compadre to tell me this - he was so uncomfortable, but I appreciate him SO MUCH! .. I laughed at him a little and the rest of my compadres did too..ok..back to the seriousness of this part of my day - I FINALLY get a hold of grandma who tells me they too have been trying to get a hold of mom and no luck. I tell her what is going on and someone picks up the boy. Meanwhile, my principal has to call the girls grandma and tell her that her baby was touched in the tenders aka front bottoms.
The 2 cheaters: They got caught cheating on an exam and denied it. My compadre Sourpatch and I didn't play.. didn't really hear their story and suspended them. Don't cheat and if you do...don't be so obvious. Oy vey!
What saved the day: french fries and a chicken burger :) oh yes... the little piece of snickers and hot cheetos.
Friday, never do this to me again. I've loved you forever, but today.. you really scared me.
My day started off by one of my compadres calling me over the radio to tell me that one of my kids was balling hysterically outside of the building. She didn't want to talk to anyone and didn't even want to follow me into my office, but I somehow convinced her and there we were. I got her to wash her face so that she could feel better and let her just sit there until she felt comfortable enough to talk to me. I waited and waited and nothing - she just sat there and cried. Something is definitely wrong at home and as much as my gut is telling me that, I can't do anything until I have proof. DAMN! I sent her back to class about an hour and a half later when she was calm and back to "normal" .. whatever that is!
Kid #2: The one I call "my child". The one that has seen me shed a tear. The one that I have hope in. Well today he came in drinking something I have NEVER seen before: Fruit Punch with gummy/sour worms at the bottom of the bottle. WTF?? Well guess what? 3 hours later he was in the office because his stomach hurt and he had thrown up. Yeah, you shouldn't have that drink AS YOUR BREAKFAST!
The parent that wanted to make sure that "The woman who called me NEVER calls me again!" : So we almost had a fight break out and my principal asked me to call this kids mom. I had to explain to her that he was being suspended for the rest of the day because of the fight and that we needed to send him home. I called and she didn't even say hello.. she answered the phone: "OH MA GA.. What now?!" I proceeded by telling her the situation and she cut me off by telling me that I better not send her child home because she chose this school for a reason..she wasn't the type of mama to let her child walk the streets, etc etc. and hung up on me. So, I graciously called back and said "ma'am it looks like we got disconnected. I wanted to call and ask when you would be able to pick him up since he cant walk home.." and she cut me off again "I Aint on county..." and hung up again. Ok.. perfect! My principal calls her back to try and calm her down, but of course, this was all my fault! Right! She told her that I had an attitude problem and that she never wanted to me to call her again! "I know you have other people working in your office..i NEVER want her to call me" <--this really hurts me.
The crisis: So while Im dealing with the mama that wants to hurt me, one of my favorite people (The guy who was scared of the hampster) comes and tells me that a boy ran out of the class, to the bathroom and said he wanted to cut himself. Great! Just what I needed! I talk to the boy and come to find out..this isn't the first time. I assessed the situation, collaborated and turns out a little intervention would be ok.. THANK GOD we didn't have to call in help! So, all I have to do is call his parent ..shouldn't be hard, right? WRONG! Not at our school! EVERY SINGLE ONE of the phone numbers in his file..disconnected! Ok, great! I am now the CIA and need to find this boys family! While Im doing that.. my favorite guy.. comes in and tells me that the boy ran out and said that because he touched the "front bottom" of a girl in his class. What?! Where do I work?! It was so hard for my compadre to tell me this - he was so uncomfortable, but I appreciate him SO MUCH! .. I laughed at him a little and the rest of my compadres did too..ok..back to the seriousness of this part of my day - I FINALLY get a hold of grandma who tells me they too have been trying to get a hold of mom and no luck. I tell her what is going on and someone picks up the boy. Meanwhile, my principal has to call the girls grandma and tell her that her baby was touched in the tenders aka front bottoms.
The 2 cheaters: They got caught cheating on an exam and denied it. My compadre Sourpatch and I didn't play.. didn't really hear their story and suspended them. Don't cheat and if you do...don't be so obvious. Oy vey!
What saved the day: french fries and a chicken burger :) oh yes... the little piece of snickers and hot cheetos.
Friday, never do this to me again. I've loved you forever, but today.. you really scared me.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Why is it that we take it?
First, an update on the "parent of the year" who is very upset that we cared enough to call her and tell her there was something physically wrong with her child. She argues that it is harassment if we call her to inform her when her student is sick. Yes, a school notifying a parent that their child has a physical ailment is harassment. Wow, parent of the year, indeed.
On to the hot topic of "why is it that we take it"? "Dunkan", a student that uses 3 curse words per sentence, was kicked out of class and sent to the office. "Dunkan" is extremely rude, annoying and inappropriate, but we thought that we were having a breakthrough with him...we kinda started to like the kid and I even dared to believe we might make a difference in him...let those hopes fly out in flames like fireworks on the fourth of July. "Dunkan" repeatedly scramed out horrible vulgar language across the office to "Abner". He was asked to Stop and settle down so many times! That we finally called mom (who doesn't want him home because he's equally horrible to her....he's just like her, btw), he was so upset that we called mom that he went CRAZY. He throws tantrums all the time, but today he finally crossed that line...we called our security dude and "Dunkan" called him a word that I won't dignify by typing, but it starts with an "N" he also called him a stupid ass and that we are all a bunch a mothfucken stupid asses and doesn't know why we work there...he screamed all this to his mom on the phone in Spanish. We called campus security to have him escorted out and as he was leaving he called our compadre a "Fucken stupid bitch"...this ungrateful little shit darred to bite the hand that fed him. Our compadre took him under her wing to the point of putting up with a lot of his shit just to not give up on him....one of our good kids who witnessed the whole ordeal said "I don't know how you guys can take being treated like that...I would have hurt someone if they talked to me like that"....I think my only answer as of right know is "because we're professionals." I really don't know HOW we take someone treating us that way...we just do, I guess.
On to the hot topic of "why is it that we take it"? "Dunkan", a student that uses 3 curse words per sentence, was kicked out of class and sent to the office. "Dunkan" is extremely rude, annoying and inappropriate, but we thought that we were having a breakthrough with him...we kinda started to like the kid and I even dared to believe we might make a difference in him...let those hopes fly out in flames like fireworks on the fourth of July. "Dunkan" repeatedly scramed out horrible vulgar language across the office to "Abner". He was asked to Stop and settle down so many times! That we finally called mom (who doesn't want him home because he's equally horrible to her....he's just like her, btw), he was so upset that we called mom that he went CRAZY. He throws tantrums all the time, but today he finally crossed that line...we called our security dude and "Dunkan" called him a word that I won't dignify by typing, but it starts with an "N" he also called him a stupid ass and that we are all a bunch a mothfucken stupid asses and doesn't know why we work there...he screamed all this to his mom on the phone in Spanish. We called campus security to have him escorted out and as he was leaving he called our compadre a "Fucken stupid bitch"...this ungrateful little shit darred to bite the hand that fed him. Our compadre took him under her wing to the point of putting up with a lot of his shit just to not give up on him....one of our good kids who witnessed the whole ordeal said "I don't know how you guys can take being treated like that...I would have hurt someone if they talked to me like that"....I think my only answer as of right know is "because we're professionals." I really don't know HOW we take someone treating us that way...we just do, I guess.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
The "Massive Walkout" of Period two and then some.
Today 1/3 of our staff was was gone and we have noticed a "slight" correlation between the amount of teachers out and the amount of kids in trouble. We get a radio call that "kids walked out of Blankity Blank Blank's class." ...No worries, I think, Kids walk out of class all the time. My response to that radio call was "yeah, how many?"...our security dude answers "All of them"...Well that's really a first for us. My compadres grabbed some paper and pens and headed over to the building to round up the kids. Ironically, one student was left in the class. He may be one of the top 3 worst students we have. Evil kid too. But he stayed behind. Now that's a first.
We also had ranch thrown on someone's head by one of the top 3 most annoying kids we have (and that's not an understatement)...it turns out a girl socked him and to get her back he threw a bowl of ranch on her. 2 badass little ditchers got 2 chill peppers from a security guard (not one of ours, seriously) and wanted to prove they're "womaness'...they cried after eating them and ran to the bathroom...I secretly appreciated that punishment. We suspended a few kids...but no "prohibited-substances problems" (that we know of) happened.
A friend of mine asked "Do you work at a prison?" after hearing a description of my day. Sadly, no, I work at a high school. He then said my story makes him want to drink. Join the club, amigo.
We also had ranch thrown on someone's head by one of the top 3 most annoying kids we have (and that's not an understatement)...it turns out a girl socked him and to get her back he threw a bowl of ranch on her. 2 badass little ditchers got 2 chill peppers from a security guard (not one of ours, seriously) and wanted to prove they're "womaness'...they cried after eating them and ran to the bathroom...I secretly appreciated that punishment. We suspended a few kids...but no "prohibited-substances problems" (that we know of) happened.
A friend of mine asked "Do you work at a prison?" after hearing a description of my day. Sadly, no, I work at a high school. He then said my story makes him want to drink. Join the club, amigo.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
My Plea to prohibit piece of horse poop people from reproducing
Let's start with the student we suspect might have a serious injury or open wound on his body...a good parent/person would run to the school and rush her child to the hospital. unfortunately, I' haven't had the privilege of meeting that parent. Our contender for "parent of the year" tells me that we're just looking for a reason to send her kid home and he was fine when she saw him YESTERDAY. I tell her that no, we're not just looking for excuses to send him home(even though he sometimes does make me want to drink more often than usual), we just want to make sure he's ok and he won't let us check him for injuries, so she would be the best person to check him. I was pretty P.C....I ask her to send us a note stating she took him to the doctor or checked him, so we know he's physically ok....she tells me to not hold my breath because she's tired of all this and doesn't know when she'll see him. She then asks "my kid said one of you looks at him wrong...is that you"....I answer "well, I can't be sure it's me since I have other coworkers....what I really wanted to say is the following: "you dumb piece of shit!! Take care of your Fucken kid! No wonder he's such a little shit! If you didn't want him, then maybe you shouldn't have been so Fucken loose. And the reason why I don't know if I'm the one who 'looks at him wrong' is because maybe he has insulted, cursed out and gotten under more than one person's skin! He is your spawn after all! You should have been spayed years ago you piece of crap and poor excuse of a parent, woman and human being!!"
Contender #2 is not even one of our current students' parent. She comes in, slams a straight F report card on the counter, tells me that we're a bunch of "mothafuckers" who just want to get her spawn. Yes, the whole world revolves around her little shit. She continues to curse me out and repeatedly slam the counter. How do I react to being repeatedly cursed out by a demented piece of crap? I don't. I just sit their calmly, try to reason with her, when that doesn't work I just tuned her out. The fact that she had no angry reaction from me makes her angrier...no I will not get an ulcer from reacting to stupidity. She proceeds to run into our school with security after her.
let's amend the constitution to prohibit stupid people from reproducing. Please.
Contender #2 is not even one of our current students' parent. She comes in, slams a straight F report card on the counter, tells me that we're a bunch of "mothafuckers" who just want to get her spawn. Yes, the whole world revolves around her little shit. She continues to curse me out and repeatedly slam the counter. How do I react to being repeatedly cursed out by a demented piece of crap? I don't. I just sit their calmly, try to reason with her, when that doesn't work I just tuned her out. The fact that she had no angry reaction from me makes her angrier...no I will not get an ulcer from reacting to stupidity. She proceeds to run into our school with security after her.
let's amend the constitution to prohibit stupid people from reproducing. Please.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
A "Calm" Day (By Our Standards)
Yesterday was a relatively calm day....We had 17 kids or so kicked out of class and sent to the Main Office. We suspended a couple and only had 2 major incidents. The first was 10 minutes after school began. "Tyler" was caught smoking illicit substances and suspended. He was in the clouds anyway, so I don't think he cared much. The second major one was at the end of the day, literally. Our minimum day ended when "Tanner" threatened a security guard...he then continued to taunt him and refused to reason with us. He was also suspended.....Oh, but it didn't end there. "Tanner" did not go home. He stood outside the school and continued taunting the security team...The solution: Call the cops. This was as "normal" as any day gets for us.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The Chile Shenanigans
Today the Boss asked us "there's a rumor going around that you paid a kid to eat a hot chili pepper. Is that true?".....we answer that technically no....so here's how it went: "Skyler" was having one shitty day. He had spent the day in the office with us for horrible reasons that no child should ever experience. He was even present during the gas leek scare which caused an evacuation. We wanted to cheer him up and what better way to do it, but through an unforgettable and probably painful experience.
One of us, who shall remain nameless has a hybrid chili pepper plant who's chilis happen to make it to the office today. Another one of us, who shall also remain nameless, told "Skylar" that we'd pay him $10 to eat 3 hybrid chili peppers. "Skyler" refused to look like a wuss and ate the chili peppers. Three seconds later,tears formed in his eyes followed by a runny nose a twisted expression no one should ever have. We panicked a little! I must admit....then our compadre who originated the dare said "shit I don't have any money".....who would come to the rescue! But an infamous student awaiting his expulsion from school for reasons that are so bad they cannot be disclosed. He loans the money and "Skyler" is now a happy camper with tears in his eyes and snot in his nose. So the answe to our boss' question is NO, "we" did not pay a student to eat hot chili peppers.
We did however, physically restrain a co-worker and fellow compadre, cut a chili pepper in half and dab his lips with it until we were overcome with laughter. We also used our whit and charm to convince another fellow compadre to eat a chili pepper. We saw a grown man cry today....yes the same person who was afraid of catching a hamster a student brought on campus. Today's chili shenanigans were the highlight to an other wise emotionally draining day.
One of us, who shall remain nameless has a hybrid chili pepper plant who's chilis happen to make it to the office today. Another one of us, who shall also remain nameless, told "Skylar" that we'd pay him $10 to eat 3 hybrid chili peppers. "Skyler" refused to look like a wuss and ate the chili peppers. Three seconds later,tears formed in his eyes followed by a runny nose a twisted expression no one should ever have. We panicked a little! I must admit....then our compadre who originated the dare said "shit I don't have any money".....who would come to the rescue! But an infamous student awaiting his expulsion from school for reasons that are so bad they cannot be disclosed. He loans the money and "Skyler" is now a happy camper with tears in his eyes and snot in his nose. So the answe to our boss' question is NO, "we" did not pay a student to eat hot chili peppers.
We did however, physically restrain a co-worker and fellow compadre, cut a chili pepper in half and dab his lips with it until we were overcome with laughter. We also used our whit and charm to convince another fellow compadre to eat a chili pepper. We saw a grown man cry today....yes the same person who was afraid of catching a hamster a student brought on campus. Today's chili shenanigans were the highlight to an other wise emotionally draining day.
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